I mastered my heart and made it my slave and I thought that my life would be easy after that. I was the master of my heart and my mind was my master. It’s confusing at times but it was the safest root. No more tensions, no more worries, no more butterfly sanctuaries in my stomach nor lightning bolts in my heart, the music band which made loud noises inside my heart vibrating my whole body making my hands and feet cold and my breaths inconsistent all disappeared. I could think more clearly, see more visually ( not hallucinate) while not being in thoughts of all the hearts and the arrows in my bow ( I still think about them though) .
I still think about the ones on which whom I used my arrows, oh how happy they always are at first but as time goes by. . . . . ( I’m taking antidepressants now and I don’t want to think about this much and increase the dose of my medication)
While in these thoughts my mind sometimes gives into my heart and I sneak out and do stupid things in those moments. Oh! How much I regret doing them later. Well I mastered my heart but I still needs more training I think. So I hope you visit me soon, because I need your help. Will you please come here fast and take my arrow away from me because I just can’t stand this temptation.
This is just too hard, I did it again. . . . . I. . . . Used two of my arrows while I was writing this letter poor Mr Gardener and Ms Soleil.
So I need help and fast too. Please come fast my dear friend and help me please. I can always pretend like I’m over this but seriously I know that I’m not and I need your help. Help me friend just please help me.
lovingly ( OMG just get lost love)
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