I remember the day when my whole world came crashing down on me. When my yesteryears sin came knocking on my door and I let it in. when I let it hold me and take control of me and made space for it in my heart, again. Walking past the dead cells caused by cuts and bruises which has not yet turned into a dried up scar and is still raw, I could sense death. The doom of me was lurking in ever corner and i could find traces of that in my skin which was once alive and glowing. I could foresee the impending death of the purity in my soul, which I had gained through years of resistance and repentance.
I tried resisting my heart , but the words that darkness painted in front of me made it hard for me to resist the temptation. I tried pulling by the chain, which once helped me contain my inconsistent heart but with every pull my heart ached and so did I and I finally gave in. I opened the door and I gave in.
Now I lay here collapsed at the center of my youth, not being able to pick myself up from my putrid vomit of my sin, begging my Lord to give me one more chance and to restore my strength again, while the air was filled with asphyxiating stench of betrayal.
“I am sorry”.
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