I am always you

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I hope you never have to go through what I’m going through right now.. I miss you so much, yet I can’t tell you.. I love you so much yet your face turns blue every time I say it. It’s tormenting me to keep quiet, and not say, I love you, I love you, I love you to your face a million times. But I rather not see your face blue with fear of being loved. Sometimes being loved can be scary too I guess. But I haven’t known that fear yet. I have never been loved. When I started loving you I actually expected that you’ll be the one who’ll love me back, love me back, love me back, back me up, turn me to love, gift me flowers, blow me kisses, text me I miss you, walk by my side, drown each other’s sorrow in the rain. I think I’m too imaginative. I shouldn’t have thought about all this now. I’m going now, I’m going back, loving is so kind, but unloving so tormenting and it’s not impossible but rather it just is implausible. It’s just unlikely to happen.

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