You always tell me not to fall in love with you and then you places your finger on my lips as if you know that I’m going to confess to you then and there that I’ve been in love with you ever since we met and now there is no point in you advising me not to fall in love with you as I am already in love with you, I always was in love with you and there is no need to ask me not to fall now as I’ve already reached the bottom of the pit called love.
Love is what the eyes can’t see yet the heart can feel. I can feel you in every one of my breath as if my love for you is an organ inside my body trying to keep me alive, trying to salvage what’s left of my sanity, keeping me upright and from tripping over.
I often wonder how is it that love acts both as the disease and the panacea for the affected. How it makes people crazy and how it brings back people to their senses all at once. How can something have two opposite effects on someone’s heart at the same time. I guess I’ll never know.
I know it is your right to ask me not to fall in love just as much as it is my right to fall in love with you without your permission. And I does what my heart says without listening to my head saying that this is the road towards pain and you may not be rewarded with love in the end. And I still walk down that lane hoping that something might change and I’ll be loved the same way as I am loving you. I guess that’s what love makes of you. It stretches you apart as much as you can stretch to know how durable you are then it lets you go so that you come bangging back to your own pieces and hurt everywhere just to know how much you can endure pain. Love is the craziest thing in the world. It makes you do stuff which you’ve never even imagined you’d do and it is also the most perfect thing in the world. It perfects your soul.
© The Rendezvous Club 2020
All Rights Reserved!
I met sadness yesterday, we’ve been acquainted for so long that now I can actually call him my best friend now. Not that I liked being around him or that his presence makes me feel good but he always sticks around with me when no one else does and still, I don’t appreciate it but he does. Somebody introduced me with happiness last week and we hung out with each other for a week. I’ve seen him before too in streets and on some sunny days, even on some rainy and cold days too. But now we were hanging out with each other and it felt different.
But two days before he just left without even leaving a trace. And I found sadness sitting on my couch as usual, a pale face, droopy eyes, dead smile… I asked him what happened, he just looked at the waining moon and started weeping. I didn’t like his company not now not never, but he was all that I had and maybe I had love too but I’ve been trying to maintain my distance with love, bows, arrows and hearts ( you know about all that and I don’t have to get into the details). But it’s pretty hard to abstain from them and the added company of sadness…… And I haven’t found the De-addiction Center yet! I still want you to help me find one for me before I go crazy again. The only thing that I now enjoys much is writing to you.
So this was all that have been happening around me. What’s up with you my friend? How are you ? It’s been about a week since we’ve met and I already misses you. Hope you’re well and loved. And yes I am fine here too. . . I’m waiting for your reply.
©18/10/18 The Rendezvous Club
All Rights Reserved!
I mastered my heart and made it my slave and I thought that my life would be easy after that. I was the master of my heart and my mind was my master. It’s confusing at times but it was the safest root. No more tensions, no more worries, no more butterfly sanctuaries in my stomach nor lightning bolts in my heart, the music band which made loud noises inside my heart vibrating my whole body making my hands and feet cold and my breaths inconsistent all disappeared. I could think more clearly, see more visually ( not hallucinate) while not being in thoughts of all the hearts and the arrows in my bow ( I still think about them though) .
I still think about the ones on which whom I used my arrows, oh how happy they always are at first but as time goes by. . . . . ( I’m taking antidepressants now and I don’t want to think about this much and increase the dose of my medication)
While in these thoughts my mind sometimes gives into my heart and I sneak out and do stupid things in those moments. Oh! How much I regret doing them later. Well I mastered my heart but I still needs more training I think. So I hope you visit me soon, because I need your help. Will you please come here fast and take my arrow away from me because I just can’t stand this temptation.
This is just too hard, I did it again. . . . . I. . . . Used two of my arrows while I was writing this letter poor Mr Gardener and Ms Soleil.
So I need help and fast too. Please come fast my dear friend and help me please. I can always pretend like I’m over this but seriously I know that I’m not and I need your help. Help me friend just please help me.
lovingly ( OMG just get lost love)
©The Rendezvous Club
All Rights Reserved!
You can read the first letter called
De-addiction centre here.
I went to a de-addiction centre yesterday but they wouldn’t take me. They said that, they only admit people with real addiction. But I am addicted, I’m always high or tipsy and I want to be sober and get rid of this crazy self. But they say, well the doctors tested me and said that I’m not eligible to undergo treatment in a de-addiction centre. Alas but my symptoms are getting worse….
My hands are shaking, I’m always lost in thoughts, my wings don’t work properly, my hallucinations.. yes I do hallucinate and they’re increasing day by day. I don’t even know what’s real and what’s not. I’m even struggling to breathe without my drug. Im weak and too tired to even stand up dear .And it’s like my arrows are stricking me only. I’ve been stealing from work too because I can’t get enough of the drug. This is the third de-addiction centre who’ve rejected me saying that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I’m not an addict.
But I’m telling you and you please believe me. ‘I’m an Addict’. I’m always high on love. I’m addicted to Love dear. It’s really hard to do what I do and not be an addict. So will please be kind to me and find me a Love de-addiction centre please.
With Love ( not this again)
By yours sincerely