Trigger Warning:- Rape, hope and everything else

Every boy I’ve ever loved had a smile that curled up inside blood. Each time he spread his hands to show me how deep his love for me was, I saw map routes to cities abandoned by him in his palm lines. Each city had a woman weeping in it. He folded his arms like a memory before I could make out who those women were.

Maa shoves a prayer down my throat saying she wishes to see me alive. I open my eyes and something sparkle inside the black of what’s left from my dream. I open my mouth and a wish leaves my tongue like a poem. I recite it again and again until my lover shuts my mouth with his.

My sister says that there’s a lady in Palastine who makes flower gardens out of Israeli gas bomb shells. And that teaches me that a ruin is not the end. It gives me hope. A hope that my ruin maybe a temple waiting to be discovered and someday someone might pray upon my doorstep and I will bloom into life.

On somedays I look out the window to see butterflies asking permission to drink honey from flowers. They flutter their wings, they land gently on their skin, they touch with at most care and then they drink the nectar like worshipping them. The very act of watching a butterfly at work is very much like a prayer. And sometimes I wish humans were also like butterflies, because then they’ll never learn to rape.

Butterflies are better when it comes to consent


I cannot touch you
Neither can I suture those wounds
You showed me a picture of two days ago
Because one, I’m not a nurse or a doctor
And two, you’re so far away

I can’t touch you.
And I know that the second reason
Will always hurt me the most
Because if I was close
I would have at least called a doctor for you,
Or rushed you to a hospital
Or at least kissed your wound and
Told you it will all be fine
But you’re far away
And I only see pictures of you in wounds
And they never bleeds out of the photographs
Because they’re still
But still, they kill me
Because I cannot touch you.



©The Rendezvous Club 2020

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When you love a Sun and you are a Sun.

I love someone. He knows that I do but he doesn’t says anything about it though. He just said it’s gonna hurt. I asked him, who? And he said me and you both. When a Moon and a Sun is in love, they have eclipse, when a Sun loves a planet he Dawn on it as light. But what happens when a Sun is in love with another Sun? You simply just can’t do anything, other than feel the pain I guess. And I know it’s gonna hurt.


PS:- I’m not in love. Just some thoughts to ponder on, instilled by a friend.

Picture credit:- Pinterest



©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Some random stuff to boil your brain with.

1) When you are 20 you’ll know what the world really is. Some chose to move on. The rest draws lines on walls and try to swallow it all at once and turns numb.

2) When people leaves, you don’t ask them to stay because you love them. But you ask them to stay because of your fear of being alone and because of your fear for silence.

3) The only religion you’ll know is your mother’s. But you’ll sacrifice it when it starts to burn you alive.

4) Weather is nature’s fury but it calms down every time we cry for help. Unlike men.

5) This paper will end up burning. I won’t recycle it.

6) It’s hard to forget than to fall in love. It’s hard to move on than to move in.

7) If you are still fighting, then there’s still a fighting chance. But if you are fighting with yourself, do not lose the war.

8) Fall in love with a stranger and you’ll be in love your whole life. But the thing is he should always remain a stranger.

9) Smile in the midst of chaos and cry while you’re happy. This makes people think that you’re sane. Do just the opposite and you’re mad.

10) Don’t let anyone touch you without your permission. Not even yourself. Self harm is something like that. Say no to yourself too sometimes. .



©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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I’ve been absent from WordPress for quiet a while now. I still don’t know what went wrong with me, but just suddenly one day I just lost my mind, my will to live and a lot of other things happened too and everything that I loved started being a burden to me. And I just lost my interest in WordPress. Now I’m a trying to be back here, I’m here now and I still don’t know if I can be consistent again, hope I can. I used to love blogging and I love all you guys. Well this is not a personal blog and now I’ll stop talking about myself. Hope you’re all fine. And tell me in the comment section, what did I miss in the last one, two months and how are you all?.

Psychedelic dream

I kissed the hands of my mother
and the pointy fibres at end of my bed
Scratched my cheeks, I lost a few cells.
Her hands they smelled like fish
I don’t like the curry
But I eat it, Mamma’s hands.

While At school my teacher asks me
Why are your cheeks red
How did it cut,
I said I’m blushing, my lovers kiss.
My bed is my lover
And it’s fibers their tongue.
Love is a four letter word
And for me they’ve always switched places with pain.

Nobody knows this but
A crab lives on my throat
He makes out with the octopus in my chest at noon,
That’s when Pappa treats me so unwell
When I indulge in poems and paintwells.
He doesn’t know there’s masterpiece waiting in my heart
And I’ve done the sin of letting a crab love an octopus and
This sin I won’t confess.

But Pappa isn’t the only one
Who treats me so unwell.
My psychedelic dreams does that to me as well.
I once saw apparitions of my poetry
Which looked like a ghost tower
Screaming on my naked ears
‘write me’ ‘write me’
I didn’t listen, paralysed legs.
That day is the day poetry left me
For I wedded a dream.



©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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What good will love bring?

I think I love you

But I would not tell you.

You have places to go

And I have eyes to meet.

Our desire part ways

In the crossroads.

Our love unties

As future stare at us.

What good will love bring?

When I need you,

Yet not want you.

When I love you,

Yet need to part you.



©10/04/19 The Rendezvous Club

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If love was coffee

If love was coffee

I’d add a bit more milk to mine

Being bitter is fine,

But not always

That’s not right.

If love was coffee

I’d stir the sugar nice

Until homogeneously mixed

Bitter on top, too sweet down bottom,

Now that’s horrible

Don’t you think.

If love was coffee

I’d have it twice

A cup in the morning

To be awake and

Another in the evening,

To stay awake

Not a drop more.

Can’t deal with insomnia!

If love was coffee

I don’t mind dying to soon

Because I had too many

too soon.

If love was coffee

I’d advise you,

Don’t start too young

Caffeine is not good for you.

If love was coffee

Arrgh! Who am I kidding,

Love isn’t coffee

It’s much worse than that.



©31/03/19 The Rendezvous Club

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