Fed by sadness


I feel an ache in my heart

My chest collapsed

And I can’t breathe

There’s a lemon tree growing outside

Their leaves sometimes breaks

In the fury of the wind

Releasing the essence of their oils

In the air

A few leaves now broke, just now

But I can’t get their scent.

There’s an unwanted sensation

On my right feet

My thumb is firm on the ground

It’s the rest of the fingers

That are not.

They are moving on their own,

Vibrating and I let out a sigh.

I think I’m hungry

It’s about time

I eat something.


©27/03/19 The Rendezvous Club

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I think it’s blue


If love should have a color

I think it should be blue.

This might remind you of a song

But this is not that,

This is my heart

In six blue pieces.

If love should have a color

I think it’s blue.

I know it’s not my favorite

But they are yours

And that’s enough

For this to be true.

If love should have a color

I’d pick blue.

For it’s under the blue lights

Did we grow and glow.

I have a picture of that

Locked in my safe.

If love should have a color

I’d pick blue.

You once said you liked,

My nail paint

And I remember they were blue,

Like corals under the sea.

If love is a color

I would say it’s blue

The blue skies and oceans

Have witnessed love for centuries

And they’ll know that I’m lying

If I say another name.

If love is a color

I would say it’s blue.

Bright is it and

Shades no same

And if I think it’s blue

Shouldn’t it be true.

And now it’s your turn

What is the color of love to you?

What color do you see your love in?

To me it’s blue.


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©23/03/19 The Rendezvous Club

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Do you see love?


We yearn for love

From centuries ago

The pure kind of one

We read on books,

From hundred years back.

But hundred years from now

People then will look back,

At us and our love

Just the way we have it now

And maybe they’ll think the same.

So now look into my eyes and say,

Do you see love?


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©15/03/19 The Rendezvous Club

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Before I was dead

When I die

You’ll find my diary and

Written inside it’s pages

Are words that will make you

Despise me or love me

But either way

I’ll be dead and

I wish you would have

Read, loved or hated me

Before I was dead.


©14/03/19 The Rendezvous Club

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Rooted in heart


You planted a seed in my heart

It grew tall, it grew wide

The roots went deep inside my heart

Flowers bloomed and fruits it bore.

But when you left

You cut down the tree

Timbeerrr. . . . . It fell

Now without the tree and it’s roots

The soil above my heart erroded

And the blood inside it corroded

And my love went stale.


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©7/3/19 The Rendezvous Club

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Our story


I’m not a great story teller

But I do write stories

Actually I just write our story

In a million different ways

And every time it ends the same

With you breaking my heart

And mending it again,

To break it even more

To hear it crack,

To write your name

Against each broken pieces of my heart

And call it yours, while

You don’t give me yours.

You dance with me and

Disappear as I twirl,

While my loose hair

Unties from the bun,

You leaves me standing there

In that dress and messed up hair.

While I dance to the slow sad music

” Silence ” and still feel your breath there

In the room.

As time flies by,

The stories they change

You and I are to blame.

And under this moonlight dome

I sit and write,

Another one of our story

Not to be read by you

But to be felt by pain and

I mourn you

Just the same.


©10-02-19 The Rendezvous Club

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I opened the door


I remember the day when my whole world came crashing down on me. When my yesteryears sin came knocking on my door and I let it in. when I let it hold me and take control of me and made space for it in my heart, again. Walking past the dead cells caused by cuts and bruises which has not yet turned into a dried up scar and is still raw, I could sense death. The doom of me was lurking in ever corner and i could find traces of that in my skin which was once alive and glowing. I could foresee the impending death of the purity in my soul, which I had gained through years of resistance and repentance.

I tried resisting my heart , but the words that darkness painted in front of me made it hard for me to resist the temptation. I tried pulling by the chain, which once helped me contain my inconsistent heart but with every pull my heart ached and so did I and I finally gave in. I opened the door and I gave in.

Now I lay here collapsed at the center of my youth, not being able to pick myself up from my putrid vomit of my sin, begging my Lord to give me one more chance and to restore my strength again, while the air was filled with asphyxiating stench of betrayal.

“I am sorry”.


©8-2-19 The Rendezvous Club

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