Tag: Random thoughts

How I met my second love?

Adithya Sasikala43 Comments

At a friend’s party, when everything except the music was boring and amidst all those new faces, sitting down was the only option and music was my only solace until he sat down next to me and suddenly Cold mess started playing in the stereo.

“Please don’t play sad songs when I leave” 🎶 we both said that out loud together, that’s how we met. He looked at me and smiled and I returned a smile, we smiled looking at each other for about a minute and later became silent. Just the music and our thoughts.

A few seconds later he said hi and I said hi back and then again the same silence. He glanced at me a few times. I seriously don’t remember if we both were lucid that day. He looked at my toes when the lines ” and your toes touch. . Mine…” 🎶 And I knew he was special. He’ll be someone special.

” To sway just like, it was Friday night” 🎶

and I talked to him
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Have you ever been in love? I asked him and to that all he had was a bewildered look and he kept silent. And I said, I didn’t mean the school/ college kind of love which is kind of like I’m in a relationship because I like him or her but rather have you ever loved a girl?

Loved someone so much that it makes your eyes water while just talking about love?

And his reply was, I see you have been in love and handed me a handkerchief. I just smiled and dried my damp eyes. Then we looked at each other for a while again and didn’t talk.

Then he asked me, do you still love him?

Always, love is an endless pit, you can’t stop falling once you start, I replied.

“I wish I could leave you my love but my heart is a mess” 🎶

Silence again.

“When I feel cold ” 🎶

He then put his hand around my shoulder and said, love is strange. And that very moment I knew that he understands me. And I said yes it is, yes it is.

This is how we met,

and he said please play love songs when I leave and call me back or I’ll have to come back and beg you to take me back.

PS: all this was just fiction and I am an ardent lover of this song it just makes me feel sooooo good. So guys if you haven’t heard it yet listen to cold mess by prateek Kuhad.
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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Things you do while you’re in love/ depressed or both

Adithya Sasikala20 Comments

1. You wait a minute or two before you open the message. Because instant replies sometime pictures you as needy. But you don’t want them to know that you’re in dire need of them. So you wait, so you hide.

2. You don’t look at the moon anymore. Because moon reminds you of them. But then you acknowledges the fact that you’re still thinking about them and the moon anyway. There isn’t a need of looking anymore. The thought is always there.

3. Hiding underneath a veil is your new shield. Even your dp is black. It somehow convinces you that you’re safe.

4. You are not drinking water anymore. Your lips tells you to drink some but you just take comfort underneath the oceans inside your eyelids and never move, the waves are violent on your heart.

5. You find it better to be alone in the city roads than inside your house. Somehow being alone among people are much more comforting than being alone in your cemented house, being alone inside yourself.

6. Eating breakfast for, lunch and dinner feels right. Time doesn’t exist anymore. You’re that kid who doesn’t understand the difference between the minute hand and second hand. Thoughts are timeless.

7. You rehearse what you’ll tell them when you meet them again. You write a letter in your head a million times but you neither will tell them how you really feels nor write that letter down. It will all die with you.

8. Each of the ‘them’ in this is either a his or her.

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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Can you love someone deeply yet not enough?

Adithya Sasikala34 Comments

I got a text from him last Friday saying that he’s going out for a while. He does this a lot and I’m fine with it. People do need their space but I just can’t believe that I accept it now. That people need space. I never thought that you needed breaks from people you love. Maybe I still don’t believe that.

When we met yesterday after his break, he looked the same, he loved the same and he smiled at me while he took his first sip of coffee and said it needed more sugar just like always. But. . . .

Can you love someone and not love them just enough? Unfortunately I think it’s possible. That’s what we were. He loved me but just not enough to hold me close. We just had a brief conversation and I was silent mostly. And when he thought something might be off he asked me what is going on with me? I chose not to reply and I just asked him something

Did you miss me while you were away? Did you miss me at all? He didn’t say anything for a while and just continued to stare into my face, motionless. He loves his space, his solitude, he loves him more. And I can’t do that, I can’t be the person who loves someone more than myself and be with a person who loves themselves more than me. Because it just feels so unfair.

Can someone love you but not love you enough?
Yes. . . . .! And yes . . . . . . It’s painful!

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©The Rendezvous Club 2019!

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24 things I never told you

Adithya Sasikala38 Comments

1. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw you.

2. You don’t really need a face to fall for someone, you just need to see their heart.

3. It felt so better to be lonely with someone, than being lonely alone.

4. Your goodnights were the only thing, that made my nights better.

5. If we were supposed to name our body parts then I would have named my heart after you.

6. I used to draw circles on air and parallels next to it to convince myself how different we were. Circles and parallels.

7. I once wrote your name on my diary next to mine and I tore off the page as soon as my mother walked in.

8. When I cross a field I think of all the flowers you never gave me.

9. I don’t know how, but all your favorites are mine too now and I can’t get rid of them.

10. I cried when you left.

11. I wrote a song for you and I play it when I drown every night. They plays like a lullaby at times and the rest of the time, they are my mourning song.

12. I’m trying to find you in every person I meet. But none of them can hurt me like you did.

13. I hallucinate you on lonely nights.

14. I look at the moon and he smiles like you, and fireflies flies into my hair and burns my head.

15. Fall in love, and you never stops falling, it’s an endless pit.

16. I allowed you to hurt me, knowing fully well what you were doing and I thought that was love.

17. I’m sorry you had to hurt me because you were hurt in the first place.

18. I knew I wasn’t enough, still I tried my best.

19. I hope you forget me.

20. I can never forget you.

21. I sometimes looks into the mirror, think of you and talk to myself.

22. I can never forget you.

23. I realize now that hope is a dying star. But it dies really slow and I might not last untill then.

24. I can never forget you.

©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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You’ll never know

Adithya Sasikala57 Comments

Sometimes you love someone and they don’t love you back. But you continue to love them. In no hope and you never stop loving them and in the end you betray yourself, you take away the chance of loving someone else, who just might love you back.

He called me yesterday and said that we should meet.

We have been friends for a long time. Things were always nice when he was there. But we did had our share of fights, arguments and misunderstandings. We weren’t perfect.

He came over to my house to declare the news. He said he’s going away for a while and I felt as if someone just dropped a missile on my chest.

He was just so excited. So I pretended to be happy and made him feel more happy.

After he left is when things started to get darker inside me. What if he never comes back? What if he don’t call? How long will he stay away ? Will it be like last time? Will he slowly get busy and wander off?

I guess I’ll never know. When you love a person who doesn’t love you back then the thing is you are never sure about the future. You’ll never know.

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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Some things girls like me go through

Adithya Sasikala74 Comments

1. Every time someone drives a car bad Mamma assumes that it maybe a woman and Pappa nods. I mock their prejudice silently and roll my window down, and scream into myself.

2. God apparently made Men before he made women. Some Men are now trying to prove that they are Women’s God. God comes to me in my sleep and tells me, he still is my God and all these things that the men are saying was an error.

3. In front of a lighted candle my mother tells me that my eyes should be brighter than light itself. She says that some boys only fall for bright eyes, they forgets to see the heart. Some men are oblivious to the matter of your heart.

4. Apparently there’s an invitation letter between my legs and if I sit with my legs open. All men’s hell will break lose.

5. We’re afraid of demons.

6. We face discrimination everyday. Yesterday a friend of mine told me, my handwriting doesn’t look like that of a girl. She said it’s dirty, like that of a man. There are men who has a good handwriting, I’ve seen it.

7. According to my brother, men only realises that a woman have legs if she’s wearing a leggings or shorts. It is an unwanted attention he says. So I’m dying legless.

8. There is something wrong with my clock. My world ends after it’s 6 in the evening. After it’s dark there’s nothing more. Women are not for the night, my wall echos.

9. My mother doesn’t know I’m writing this. I know she’ll disown me if she does. Please hide!

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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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