Things you do while you’re in love/ depressed or both


1. You wait a minute or two before you open the message. Because instant replies sometime pictures you as needy. But you don’t want them to know that you’re in dire need of them. So you wait, so you hide.

2. You don’t look at the moon anymore. Because moon reminds you of them. But then you acknowledges the fact that you’re still thinking about them and the moon anyway. There isn’t a need of looking anymore. The thought is always there.

3. Hiding underneath a veil is your new shield. Even your dp is black. It somehow convinces you that you’re safe.

4. You are not drinking water anymore. Your lips tells you to drink some but you just take comfort underneath the oceans inside your eyelids and never move, the waves are violent on your heart.

5. You find it better to be alone in the city roads than inside your house. Somehow being alone among people are much more comforting than being alone in your cemented house, being alone inside yourself.

6. Eating breakfast for, lunch and dinner feels right. Time doesn’t exist anymore. You’re that kid who doesn’t understand the difference between the minute hand and second hand. Thoughts are timeless.

7. You rehearse what you’ll tell them when you meet them again. You write a letter in your head a million times but you neither will tell them how you really feels nor write that letter down. It will all die with you.

8. Each of the ‘them’ in this is either a his or her.


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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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You’ll never know


Sometimes you love someone and they don’t love you back. But you continue to love them. In no hope and you never stop loving them and in the end you betray yourself, you take away the chance of loving someone else, who just might love you back.

He called me yesterday and said that we should meet.

We have been friends for a long time. Things were always nice when he was there. But we did had our share of fights, arguments and misunderstandings. We weren’t perfect.

He came over to my house to declare the news. He said he’s going away for a while and I felt as if someone just dropped a missile on my chest.

He was just so excited. So I pretended to be happy and made him feel more happy.

After he left is when things started to get darker inside me. What if he never comes back? What if he don’t call? How long will he stay away ? Will it be like last time? Will he slowly get busy and wander off?

I guess I’ll never know. When you love a person who doesn’t love you back then the thing is you are never sure about the future. You’ll never know.


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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Some things girls like me go through


1. Every time someone drives a car bad Mamma assumes that it maybe a woman and Pappa nods. I mock their prejudice silently and roll my window down, and scream into myself.

2. God apparently made Men before he made women. Some Men are now trying to prove that they are Women’s God. God comes to me in my sleep and tells me, he still is my God and all these things that the men are saying was an error.

3. In front of a lighted candle my mother tells me that my eyes should be brighter than light itself. She says that some boys only fall for bright eyes, they forgets to see the heart. Some men are oblivious to the matter of your heart.

4. Apparently there’s an invitation letter between my legs and if I sit with my legs open. All men’s hell will break lose.

5. We’re afraid of demons.

6. We face discrimination everyday. Yesterday a friend of mine told me, my handwriting doesn’t look like that of a girl. She said it’s dirty, like that of a man. There are men who has a good handwriting, I’ve seen it.

7. According to my brother, men only realises that a woman have legs if she’s wearing a leggings or shorts. It is an unwanted attention he says. So I’m dying legless.

8. There is something wrong with my clock. My world ends after it’s 6 in the evening. After it’s dark there’s nothing more. Women are not for the night, my wall echos.

9. My mother doesn’t know I’m writing this. I know she’ll disown me if she does. Please hide!


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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

All Rights Reserved!

No


When he comes into your room and
Slam the door and
Ask you to strip
You get up and say
The only the thing
That has been
Running through your head
For a while now.
You say no,
And when his voice
They raise
You gather the voice of your courage
Your self respect
And the word No
Falls out your mouth
Like an asteroid
Creating a crater
On his manliness.
And he demands it again
And he demands that he’s your boyfriend,
Your fiance, your husband
He repeats that you have done it before
And it’s nothing new,
He repeats that you aren’t an angel and
You aren’t pure.
And then you put your hand
In front of you
In front of his face
In the direction of these forced words
And you say No
Because a No means a No
And it will always mean a No
There is nothing more lurking
In between those two letters
There is no monster hiding
Underneath the bed but
There is a monster,
There is one standing in between
You and him
And you sheild yourself with a No
Because you aren’t a slave
And your body is yours
And because a No means a No.


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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

All Rights Reserved!

Some random stuff to boil your brain with.

1) When you are 20 you’ll know what the world really is. Some chose to move on. The rest draws lines on walls and try to swallow it all at once and turns numb.

2) When people leaves, you don’t ask them to stay because you love them. But you ask them to stay because of your fear of being alone and because of your fear for silence.

3) The only religion you’ll know is your mother’s. But you’ll sacrifice it when it starts to burn you alive.

4) Weather is nature’s fury but it calms down every time we cry for help. Unlike men.

5) This paper will end up burning. I won’t recycle it.

6) It’s hard to forget than to fall in love. It’s hard to move on than to move in.

7) If you are still fighting, then there’s still a fighting chance. But if you are fighting with yourself, do not lose the war.

8) Fall in love with a stranger and you’ll be in love your whole life. But the thing is he should always remain a stranger.

9) Smile in the midst of chaos and cry while you’re happy. This makes people think that you’re sane. Do just the opposite and you’re mad.

10) Don’t let anyone touch you without your permission. Not even yourself. Self harm is something like that. Say no to yourself too sometimes. .


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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

All Rights Reserved!