Love is eternally toxic


The last time you left me you said that love is eternally toxic. And you closed the door behind me as I was struggling not to cry. You came back three days later you didn’t say a thing, you didn’t apologise either we hugged on the fifth day.

The time before that you said it isn’t love if I can leave you and be okay with it. And you closed the door behind me while I was on the floor crying. And you came home 48 and a half hours later holding a rose in your hand and a cut in your left hand, you broke a mirror you said as I tended to the wound.

The time before that you said you can’t be in love with me because you’ve never been in love before and it can’t be love if it hurts this much and you closed the door behind me as I was shouting at you. You came back the next morning with a letter in your hand that said you loved me a hundred times and it hurts more to leave me than how much it hurts to stay.

This time before you left you said that, I love you so much that I have to leave you because I can’t stay because…. I can’t stay and I held the door for you and I closed it behind your back.


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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Women, Men, God, Love


1. Mamma says that when a man walks on a woman’s skin. She’ll burn in pain but nobody will see any burn marks and pain isn’t visible. So nobody will know what she had been through.

2. Some men are healers.

3. God is a man, God is a man, God is a man.
4. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.

5. The dept of exit wounds are directly proportional to your emotional attachment towards the person who’s making them.

6. I have one in my heart, he loved me. I am not dead.

7. After 16 your heart is mosaic. A mosaic made out of all the men who left you to pieces. But it isn’t art, it isn’t beautiful. All the tiles are of the same color and the cracks are visible. They do not form poetry, they form a floor for a home to be built above them. A home for love, which is dead.

8. Now prejudice have replaced superstitions. I’ve heard a man say that if a woman smells like that of a man then in ten years you’ll see her making out with another woman. Or if a woman behaves manly enough then she hates men in general, and she’s called a feminist.

9. I know all this and a little more and I’m only 21.


Image from Pinterest

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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Humans don’t have wings


Mamma told me to sink down the sea
Mamma told me to lie on my back
And let the sun shine on my skin.
Tear off both the wings on my back
Tear off all the feathers that’s been
Weighing me down from being a human
All of this while.
Mamma said let no one walk on your back by
Calling you an angel.
Mamma told me, be a girl darling
Don’t pretend you have wings
You have two hands and that’s always enough.
Wear that striped shirt, that full sleeve one.
Ride a ship into the mouth of the sun
Burn, burn yourself up.
Then come back the next day to tell
All the tale, wear your darkness
All on your eyes, wear your burn marks
All over your tongue, spit words of fire
And let them know how
Flawed of a human you are and
Let no one walk on above you
Calling you an angel, you’re human
As flawed as everyone,
Remember that and walk up,
Work up, to your dreams.


© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Things you do while you’re in love/ depressed or both


1. You wait a minute or two before you open the message. Because instant replies sometime pictures you as needy. But you don’t want them to know that you’re in dire need of them. So you wait, so you hide.

2. You don’t look at the moon anymore. Because moon reminds you of them. But then you acknowledges the fact that you’re still thinking about them and the moon anyway. There isn’t a need of looking anymore. The thought is always there.

3. Hiding underneath a veil is your new shield. Even your dp is black. It somehow convinces you that you’re safe.

4. You are not drinking water anymore. Your lips tells you to drink some but you just take comfort underneath the oceans inside your eyelids and never move, the waves are violent on your heart.

5. You find it better to be alone in the city roads than inside your house. Somehow being alone among people are much more comforting than being alone in your cemented house, being alone inside yourself.

6. Eating breakfast for, lunch and dinner feels right. Time doesn’t exist anymore. You’re that kid who doesn’t understand the difference between the minute hand and second hand. Thoughts are timeless.

7. You rehearse what you’ll tell them when you meet them again. You write a letter in your head a million times but you neither will tell them how you really feels nor write that letter down. It will all die with you.

8. Each of the ‘them’ in this is either a his or her.


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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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You’ll never know


Sometimes you love someone and they don’t love you back. But you continue to love them. In no hope and you never stop loving them and in the end you betray yourself, you take away the chance of loving someone else, who just might love you back.

He called me yesterday and said that we should meet.

We have been friends for a long time. Things were always nice when he was there. But we did had our share of fights, arguments and misunderstandings. We weren’t perfect.

He came over to my house to declare the news. He said he’s going away for a while and I felt as if someone just dropped a missile on my chest.

He was just so excited. So I pretended to be happy and made him feel more happy.

After he left is when things started to get darker inside me. What if he never comes back? What if he don’t call? How long will he stay away ? Will it be like last time? Will he slowly get busy and wander off?

I guess I’ll never know. When you love a person who doesn’t love you back then the thing is you are never sure about the future. You’ll never know.


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©The Rendezvous Club 2019

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Some things girls like me go through


1. Every time someone drives a car bad Mamma assumes that it maybe a woman and Pappa nods. I mock their prejudice silently and roll my window down, and scream into myself.

2. God apparently made Men before he made women. Some Men are now trying to prove that they are Women’s God. God comes to me in my sleep and tells me, he still is my God and all these things that the men are saying was an error.

3. In front of a lighted candle my mother tells me that my eyes should be brighter than light itself. She says that some boys only fall for bright eyes, they forgets to see the heart. Some men are oblivious to the matter of your heart.

4. Apparently there’s an invitation letter between my legs and if I sit with my legs open. All men’s hell will break lose.

5. We’re afraid of demons.

6. We face discrimination everyday. Yesterday a friend of mine told me, my handwriting doesn’t look like that of a girl. She said it’s dirty, like that of a man. There are men who has a good handwriting, I’ve seen it.

7. According to my brother, men only realises that a woman have legs if she’s wearing a leggings or shorts. It is an unwanted attention he says. So I’m dying legless.

8. There is something wrong with my clock. My world ends after it’s 6 in the evening. After it’s dark there’s nothing more. Women are not for the night, my wall echos.

9. My mother doesn’t know I’m writing this. I know she’ll disown me if she does. Please hide!


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© The Rendezvous Club 2019

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